Life isn't waiting for the storm to end

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 16:08:34 GMT

happy new year?
fail, i haven't written since halloween.
i don't really know what to say, though.
i love my life. :)
so i guess this isn't a normal i'm-writing-cause-i'm-pissed-off-and/or-depressed kinda things.
i'm leaving for maryland this afternoon to visit mitchell and erin and emilie and kate.
i'm so happy.

i love you. <3

Thank You For The Music :: ABBA

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 19:36:37 GMT

I'm nothing special, in fact I'm a bit of a bore
If I tell a joke, you've probably heard it before
But I have a talent, a wonderful thing
'Cause everyone listens when I start to sing
I'm so grateful and proud
All I want is to sing it out loud

So I say
Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty?
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me

Mother says I was a dancer before I could walk
She says I began to sing long before I could talk
And I've often wondered, how did it all start
Who found out that nothing can capture a heart
Like a melody can?
Well, whoever it was, I'm a fan

So I say
Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me

I've been so lucky, I am the girl with golden hair
I wanna sing it out to everybody
What a joy, what a life, what a chance!

Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me

Thank you for the music
For giving it to me...

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 20:29:55 GMT

remember a few months ago when i said i wanted to be a clinical therapist?
yeah, i think i might NEED a clinical therapist instead.
fml.

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 18:05:16 GMT

mom's okay, thank god.
car's not. how do you run over a fire hydrant?

hi beth :)

Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 05:45:41 GMT

it's been over a month. again. oops. school started and i love my roomie and my floor and basically my whole building and kind of everything in general. :] that's kind of all i feel like talking about right now. sorry i'm not in the mood to write right now. actually, i really don't have anything else to say. i think i did, but now i don't really want to put anything out there. my bad.

תגלית ♥

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 22:04:18 GMT

israel was ... indescribable.

but in other news, i've learned that life is short; time, in its infinity, is short. i don't have time for your bullshit problems. either you want me or you don't. you obviously don't, and so - regardless of my feelings - time has won out. i'm sick of waiting and i'm sick of explaining. this is the end. thank you for wasting a good six years of my life in teases and broken hearts. it was worth it for the lessons i've learned, if not for anything else.

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 01:46:37 GMT

why do i keep falling in love with him?
maybe it's not even a question.
it 's just ... a fact.
a completely unfaltering and undeniable fact.

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 22:58:27 GMT

i can't believe i haven't written in almost a month. i guess that just goes to show you how non-exciting my life is.i went to maryland a few weeks ago to visit erin emilie and kate. i finally saw up and transformers 2. both were good. but that's pretty much it. i have no friends. i do nothing all day. literally, absolutely nothing. and i can't do anything because i'm either sick or broke. or both, as luck would have it. fml.

Sun, 07 Jun 2009 18:02:18 GMT

i have the rest of college.
i have clubs and bars.
i have grad school.
i have the work place.

i don't have to settle for the familiar.
now, oh dear g-d, let me have the strength not to.

HAZZAH!

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 23:25:12 GMT

i finally know what i'm going to do with my life. here's the plan:
i'm going to stay as an elementary education major, but instead of minoring in english, i'm minoring in psychology. when i finish school and move back to jersey, i'll get a job and start teaching while simultaneously going to grad school and getting my masters in school psychology.
the end.

dedicated.

Thu, 28 May 2009 01:05:31 GMT

i've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn, and we are led to those who help up most to grow, if we let them, and we help them in return. well i don't know if i believe that's true, but i know i'm who i am today because i knew you. like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun, like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood... who can say if i've been changed for the better, but because i knew you i have been changed for good. it well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime, so let me say before we part: so much of me is made of what i learned from you; you'll be with me like a handprint on my heart. and now whatever way our stories end, i know you have rewritten mine by being my friend. like a ship blown from its mooring by a wind off the sea, like a seed dropped by a sky bird in a distance wood... who can say if i've been changed for the better, but because i knew you i have been changed for good. and just to clear the air, i ask forgiveness for the things i've done you blame me for, but then i guess we know there's blame to share and none of it seems to matter anymore.

+ maybe going to oregon for a week to visit peter, kristen, and owen.
+ begin working part time at the laurel tree academy on june 22.
+ maybe babysitting all day, every day for two weeks.
+ epiphany on boys, take two.
+ at peace.

today has just been an all-around crappy day.

Sat, 23 May 2009 02:39:12 GMT

i love when my ideas get shot down.

oh, and when i realize how clear that picture is in my head.
it shouldn't be that clear.
but it is.
it is so very very vivid.
i guess we'll see where life goes.

mental breakdown day.

Fri, 22 May 2009 16:33:25 GMT

i may or may not be getting a job at laurel tree.
igloo doesn't need me this summer.
i'm seriously considering changing my major to psychology.
this isn't a new idea, though.
i really might want to be a clinical therapist.

"time flies when you're having fun." ain't that the truth.

Fri, 22 May 2009 01:31:45 GMT

i really can't believe freshman year of college is over. only three more? WHAT? i think that's a rip off, personally. but honestly, this year has been unbelievable in so many ways and i really have to thank [or blame?] all of my friends. there are far too many people who have contributed to changing my life this past year to name them all, but obviously i'm going to try. here we go, in no particular order other than categorically for my own organizational needs:

michael yiallourides, erica fidelman, lea buquicchio, jaclyn lee, marla baker, katie haldeman, josh silvermain, craig planamento, jake macomber, travis giessler, erika tabler, rachel lipton, steve debaugh, melissa di fazio, amanda rudin, michelle bershad, lindsay kamens, staci godfrey, ben verovsky, blake savadow, emily shevell, becca epstein, jenn marker, matt scher, scott scheinson, jen weber, max pollak, mickey rubin, lana carduner, lauren cabrera, stefanie kahanov, stacey cohen, erin sears, emilie boone, scott miller, will lawrence, joe aronez, rob haupt, david doxzen, carolyn lampf, becca ebersole, matt markey, mike mccaughey, mary howard, dani queen, sara feldman, melissa novak, the entire brotherhood, and anyone i may have forgotten.

i love you all in your own special way. <3

in other news, i really don't know what's going on with certain people who are kind of in my life. first, they like me. then, they tell me we should just be friends. but then we weren't friends and it was just awkward. so we finally became friends again. and now we're flirting haaaardcore. the worst part is i can't stop thinking about ~~him~~ the whole conversation/situation? fail.

Fri, 08 May 2009 21:25:21 GMT

what does rachael do when she's bored and has finished bs-ing her dfst paper? she starts planning out what courses she's going to take every semester for the rest of her time at towson. she realizes that fitting in the classes for her english minor will force her to take six classes and at least 19 credits every semester for the next two and a half year, but that's do-able. then she remembers that she's in the honors college and has to make requirements for that, as well, so rachael reasons that she will just fail out of the honors college and all will be well. except not. finally, she remembers that there's this lovely place back home called bcc where she can get credit for almost all of the english classes she needs. phew. oh wait... she'll still need a summer job. fuck. the end.

FOREVER PHI SIGMA PI.

Tue, 05 May 2009 22:37:41 GMT

hell yeah, i'm a brother.
and i got reinstalled onto hillel board as rosh chodesh chairwoman.
and my parents are on a two-week caribbean cruise without me.
and i had a mono relapse yesterday.
and i started reading newsies fanfics again.
and that's kind the only interesting things that have happened recently.
sorry my life sucks.

Yellodoritos: EW

Yellodoritos: under his favorite books he has things fall apart

Yellodoritos: it was so miserably terrible

Yellodoritos: i could sum it up for you right now

Yellodoritos: black man lives

Yellodoritos: white man comes

Yellodoritos: black mans mad

Yellodoritos: black man dies

Yellodoritos: THE END

yitgadal.

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 06:36:31 GMT

two murder-suicides occurred in towson and frederick, respectively, this weekend.
it makes me think about greg...
i really disliked him in hebrew school because he was smarter than me.
then he was killed and i never got to know him past the age of ten.
i guess that's the one thing i truly regret in life.

i still say kaddish for him every time i go to shabbat, even when it's not his yahrtzeit.
and i still think about him a lot even though we were never good friends.
i don't think i've ever told anyone that before.

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 17:45:22 GMT

the big question in my life today is: how do you determine whether or not someone is "real"?

discuss.

you never know how strong you are until being strong is your only option.

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 03:02:42 GMT

that quote changed my friend's life. i hope it changes yours, too.

so i just found this other quote and i really like it. it was on my google homepage under quotes of the day. enjoy.
"it was on my fifth birthday that papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'"
-- sam levenson

if you hadn't noticed, i like quotes; i'm a quote whore, if you will.

the last month of my life has been marked by wednesdays. an odd day of importance, but that's how things worked out. there was the good wednesday and then the bad wednesday and then kind of eh wednesday and then tonight. tonight is not a good wednesday. tonight is not a bad wednesday. tonight is not a kind of eh wednesday. tonight is a very annoyed wednesday. the anger is growing. i would like to punch something. that's probably bad, but i have to do something. running would work, but it's too late to go outside and the gym is closed.

hillel elections were today. and i think i'm going to get the position i wanted even though i didn't run for it. yes, i'm that awesome.

i still want to punch something. or someone. i have a strange feeling i'm being played.

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 01:40:36 GMT

i don't think i really have anything new to talk about for you guys... i'm just trying to kill time before the boy comes over. maybe tonight i'll figure out what's going on with my life. i doubt it, however. he's sick and i feel bad bringing shit up. he doesn't need anymore stress right now. meh.

so i guess i could bitch about my dfst video project. each group is supposed to watch a movie and then make a powerpoint on it to share with the rest of the class. of course, the movie my group and i are supposed to watch is no where to be found. not online and it's not on itunes, which are the easiest ways to find something. none of us can get to a blockbuster, let alone finding one in the area, being able to get off campus to rent it, and all finding time to watch it together. i'm pretty sure we're just gonna read a synopsis and do our presentation from that, so i guess it's whatever.

bah. venting.
i still have a hard time trusting people... boys in particular. it's terrible. i want to get over it, but i get so paranoid that it's really hard not to just immediately go into pessimistic mode and doubt people's intentions.

Sat, 11 Apr 2009 04:30:40 GMT

hello, fans - er... friends. wow, i think i used that line in my bat mitzvah speech. my sense of humor apparently hasn't changed much. except that it has. just like me. i've changed a lot since i was thirteen. i'm far more outgoing now and i'm really beginning to appreciate that in myself, if that makes any sense at all. oh my, that was really off topic. anyway. i'm sorry it's been over two weeks since i last wrote anything. they've been a fantastical and insanely crazy two weeks, if that makes it any better. i know it doesn't, but i still like to try.

i turned 19. i guess that's kind of big. i had a party at a bar/club in baltimore and a bunch of my friends came. it was pretty fun, i guess. i'm not really sure what i was expecting out of. i guess the timing was just wrong. i don't feel any different, anyway, but my mom told me today that i should start thinking about marriage. okay, she didn't say it like that. she meant that any guy i start dating at this point could turn out to be "the one" so i should think about whether i'd be okay with that early on so neither of us get too hurt. ...but what she really meant was "is he jewish?" and if not "will he convert?"

which sucks, because i fell for a catholic boy about a week and a half ago. but that's a whole different story that i don't find appropriate for an internet audience comprised of people i don't (or even worse) that i do know. needless to say i'm currently in purgatory. maybe that's karma coming back around to kick me in the ass. who knows? still... everything happens for a reason. he hates when i say that. and i've realized that as much as i hang my hat on that statement to make sense of things, i equally don't believe it at all. everyone is free to make their own decisions; to choose their own paths in life. he knows that, he believes that, needs to own up to that pretty darn quick.

it's almost 12:30. fail. i have to wake up in seven hours. better yet, i haven't gotten a full night's rest in over a week. this boy is bad for my sleeping habits. peace out, boy scout.

current grades that i know

Sun, 22 Mar 2009 22:46:50 GMT

BIOL 115, biology: the science of life -- 94.7368 ... aka a 95.
DFST 107, american sign language 1 -- 95.9184 ... aka a 96.
DFST 101, introduction to deaf studies -- 96.

i love that i'm kicking ass this semester.

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 05:04:10 GMT

i've learned that getting your hopes up only means you have farther to fall when your expectations aren't met.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 16:22:53 GMT

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

3-letter body parts? ... Vagina.

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 00:00:30 GMT

so there's this boy and we've been talking for about a week and i'm starting to like him a lot. but there's this whole status quo thing that says we shouldn't start dating and we haven't actually hung out one on one before. we're both on spring break this week and he said he's going to drive down to mtl on friday so we can hang out - he wants to take me out to dinner and everything like on a real, legit date. :) i really hope this works out.

today is eric's 19th birthday. happy 19th birthday, eric!
i'm addicted to sporcle.com.
oh, and i'm in north fucking carolina. <3

a girl from my high school's facebook status:
"wouldn't it suck to be the first clown out of the clown car? nobody's impressed until at least, like, the seventh."